Damn Muggle Colds
by quirks
Summary: [VoldemortBellatrix] Different chapters with funny plots in them! Including: Damn Muggle Colds & The Get Well Dance.
1. Default Chapter

**Damn Muggle Colds**

**By Crystal Megan**

DISCLAIMER:  This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: I think you call this a cookie on FA?  Anyways, this is really short, since I can't write scenes that have sex in them since I always end up doing a horrible job, but if anyone wants to work with me more on this, I'm up for it!   E-mail me at crystalmegan68, and the domain is hotmail, (I can't do it regularly or else it turns into a link, and I can't make it normal.).  

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"My Lord," Bellatrix said the first thing she Apparated in the bedroom of Voldemort, and bowed her head briefly.  "Forgive me my Lord.  I heard you were-,"

Voldemort was about to reply when he sneezed.  "Damn Muggle colds…and it's Tom in private, Bella."

"You are sick my Lord," Bellatrix stated, and walked a few steps towards the tall, and thin figure of her old lover, that she had been with secretly since her Death Eater initiation, that stood a few feet away from her.

"Unfortunately, yes, Bella.  I've caught a Muggle cold," Voldemort said.  "But why are you here?"

"I wanted to see if I could tend to you, Tom," Bellatrix said, and took a few ginger steps forward to Voldemort again.  "I thought you might need some…" Bellatrix removed her cloak, and let it slowly droop down her arms, where finally, it fell to the floor.  "Attention."

Voldemort smiled briefly at Bellatrix, and took two steps to her, now only a foot away, and was able to see the skimpy dark emerald dress she had on.  

Bellatrix smiled seductively at him, knowing how she looked to him in her dress that was short, covering a few inches of her thighs, with the bottom torn in different areas, revealing silky black knickers, and the material that clung to her hourglass figure, with skinny straps.  Bellatrix's hair formed a long midnight colored river that ran all the way down her back.  

Bellatrix switched from her charming smile to a pout, then lifted her arms, and circled her arms around Voldemort's neck, and closed the distance between them.  "If you don't desire anything at the moment…maybe later?"

Voldemort's arms that were around Bellatrix tightened, and lowered his head to Bellatrix's hear.  "And of your husband?" Voldemort said huskily.  "What did you tell him?"

"That I was visiting my sister, Narcissa," Bellatrix purred.  "Really, Tom, you would think you were afraid if we were caught."

Voldemort chuckled softly.  "Of course I'm not."

"Will you have me tonight, Tom?" Bellatrix asked, and gave a small moan.  "Please take me, Tom…" 

"As the lady wishes," Voldemort said mockingly, and enclosed Bellatrix's mouth with his own.

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A/N: So what do you think?  Please leave a review, and if you think you can help me more with this, then feel free to e-mail me, and give me ideas or you could do the rest of it.


	2. The Get Well Dance

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Disclaimer: _*sobs* No, Tom and Draco aren't mine, damn it, and none of the other characters or anything else in this fic._

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A/N: Well…I was bored…there was the fic…you guys loved it…why not write more? Also, I want to thank: **_Draco's-little-Dark-Angel_****_, _****_Starrylibra_**, **_Phoenix Firefly_**, **_blufiredragon29, _****_Sammie Tonks_****_, _****_frozeninside_****_, _****_quikensweetybabe_****_, LadyVoldy, Death by Chocolate, Twist, _**and **Katrina.**

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'The Get Well Dance'

"Oh My Lord! Look at what you've done to yourself! We shouldn't have had sex with you in your condition! Now today you have this high fever and you're burning up and everything! How can you go to work today?" Bellatrix asked anxiously.

Bellatrix Lestrange was looking at Voldemort in his large king size bed with his black expensive covers pulled up to his chin with a thermometer under his tongue his mouth, with a bag thing he thought it was on his forehead, all thanks to his lover who had taken a turn to being motherly.

What is it with women, he thought, they PMS and they have a motherly PMS where they attack men and act like their grandmothers?

"No, Sir, you are not going to work today! You are staying in bed and you are going to rest! My husband or some other Death eater can hold the others together. Yes, what about Malfoy? You're fond of Malfoy aren't you? He's loyal to you. Not as loyal as me…but he'll do. Voldie? What are you thinking?"

Get this thing out of my mouth now, Voldemort thought, before I kill you.

"Oh!" Bellatrix exclaimed. "The thermometer!"

Bellatrix pulled the thing out of Voldemort's mouth and checked it. The temperature was normal but Bella was being a naughty girl today…yes, indeed, she had big plans for the two of them and despite Slytherin values, power and greed wouldn't be in their life for one day.

"God damn you, Bella! Stop sticking thermometers and whatever shit you find in my mouth will you?!" Voldemort snapped at her.

"But sexy, you were vomiting last night, and you were so ill! I had to stick that Muggle cough syrup in your mouth and this thermometer, too! I was being a loyal follower and caring lover!" Bellatrix said, pouting.

"You bloody poisoned me with that orange poison you found and I don't need a thermometer!" Voldemort burst, "I'm quite well now and if you'll excuse me, I have plans in preparation for taking over the Wizarding World."

Voldemort pushed back the covers and got up from the bed. He got his robe on and walked across the room in quick long strides to the doorway when Bellatrix who was lying on the bed on her stomach with her legs in the air and had her hands cupping her cheeks.

"I guess since you're not ill you don't need my Get Well dance…" Bellatrix said in a low and throaty seductive voice.

Voldemort stopped in his tracks. 

"A Get Well dance?" he questioned. "Well, I think I have some time before I need to go."

"Oh, that's very good indeed," Bellatrix continued in her seductive voice, "I just need help getting changed into my little dress for the dance is all, if you don't mind giving me a hand."

Voldemort blinked. "You know what, I think I can take the day off."

Bellatrix smiled mischievously. "I knew you would."

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P.S. Excuse any spelling mistakes and such please, I was in a hurry, lol. But you got your chapter so quit complaining. 


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